( Sep. 16th, 2003 10:00 pm)
Today was a much better day than the last couple. They actually gave me stuff to do at work today so I felt all productive and got to actually the big gray mass between my ears. And I have an interview this Friday for a full time position. Wish me lots of luck.

Now if I can just keep Isabel away long enough to let me sneak off to Western MA on friday I'll be set.
( Nov. 16th, 2000 01:41 am)
The pessimist in me says that I am walking a fine line and on shaky ground

The optimist says, hey this could be something really amazing

The pessimist says that I will fuck it all up and probably end up in the pit I was in not so long ago

The optimist thinks that maybe I have finally learned how to make it work

Wavering back and forth, hopeful and scared and doubtful and questioning. And I kind of wish there was someone I could ask for advice on this, but a voice says that they will tell me I'm nuts.

But for now I am happy and all is good. Though I wonder where he will fit in, though that's probably a long way down the road.

Looking forward to cookies and conversation and the many possiblities that lie ahead.
( Nov. 11th, 2000 02:12 am)
I can't believe it actually happened. I had given up on the moment ever occuring. (course that's when things tend to occur to me, when I let go of them happening) I havent' felt anything for weeks and now my body won't stop tingling. Sensory overload. I'm somewhere between laughing and crying and I haven't had this much energy in weeks. And I suppose it's a really good thing. But whoa...my thoughts just keep spinning. Must just enjoy, must just enjoy. (Now I am just going to let you be curious hehehe. I know I'm mean and evil)

I bought myself a happy toy (no it does not use batteries :) )
My roommate has a big sebastian (from the little mermaid) in her car cause she said it makes her smile and keeps her sane. So I bought my self a mini beanie Bubbles (the powerpuff girl) and she is going to go everywhere with me. So far it works. She makes me smile.

And even before above moments, I actually felt a little bit lighter today. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. However far away it is.




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